Today I thought about mortality. I have always had an fear of death and what lies beyond life on earth. I am a christian and a sinner. God made man and woman in his image but he made us flawed.
There is not one person that I know that is without sin. My greatest sin is pride. I am proud of myself and all of my achievements. I love whole heartily and tend to care more fore those around me then, they care for me. I know I should be in a more stable and goal oriented frame of mind but I am not. When we did what do we want people to remember most about us? Is it the way we cooked, talked, or loved and lived. When I die I want to have no regrets and be able to rest in peace. No one knows when it is their time.
When the time comes there is not one place that you can hide. God has seen every choice and path we were to make before we choose them. I am convinced that my sins will be forgiven for he knows my heart. I try to live every day with a simple motto. When I die I want the world to miss me, and know that I was here. There has been a deep rooted fear of death in my family. I have lost love ones back to back and without warning. I often wonder who it is that he will send to take me home.
My mind has been very heavy lately with a sense of doom and disappear. I don't know where it came from or what exactly it is aimed at I just know that it is coming and I try to be at peace with it. Some things we are just not meant to know. As a child I saw my aunts death before it happen. I could tell her everything she had on in the casket, what the church looked like and more. When I confronted her with this as a child she dismissed it and let me sleep in her bed that night. She told me we all will die and go home. This life is a test, those who have suffered here will be greatly rewarded when they go home. So yea today has been a odd day.
Hey I really enjoyed your blog entry its interesting to hear what other people think about death. On a personal note, I believe that we all return to our Father in Heaven and that he will recieve us with open arms and that we will be given more than we had on earth. Those that suffered on earth will be looked after by God when they return to him. Im comforted to know that when I do return that I'll be with my family forever. Im not scared of dying Im scared of what my kids will remember and what they will forget.
ReplyDeleteI think its interesting that you saw your relatives death and all its "trimmings" (so to speak)I think some people have athe ability to see more of the world than the rest of us at different times, like its our way of preparing ourselves and others for whats coming. (does that make sense?) Ive had similar experiences in my life and its part of who I am and what makes me who I am.....
Thank you Katherine. Your words brought a bit of comfort.
ReplyDelete